Breaking Up with Busy: 5 Transformative Steps to Reclaim Your Life

Is it time for you to break-up with being BuSy??

As your expert mindset and self mastery coach I hereby forbid you to use the word busy.

Okay, maybe that’s a bit extreme but I’m passionate about this one – hear me out.

Busy is a shield that humans utilise to mask sharing or expressing how they actually feel.

Stick with me here…

You’re grabbing your morning coffee and your barista asks, ‘much on for today?’ and you hit back with, ‘heaps! busy busy!’

You’re at school pick up and the Mum next to you asks, ‘how’s your day been?’ and you’re quick to respond with; ‘super busy! what about you?’

You see, busy is a cop out, knee jerk reaction that jumps in front of how we really feel. Do you have heaps on today?? Or are you stating that because you know it’s simply not socially acceptable to go home and binge watch reality tv, while you maybe send a few emails, run a few errands and take a midday nap. You’re a hardworking woman, you actually deserve the down time – you know?!

Have you had a super busy day? Or are you actually standing at school pick-up with impending doom because you are so fucking exhausted and you know the kids wont sleep again tonight. Which means you’ll be more tired tomorrow… where you can again, pretend to be super busy when in reality all you need to do is turn off your brain and catch some bloody sleep.

You’re not busy. You’re distracting yourself with the notion that you should be busy… which in turn means you…

1. never get anything done because you’re operating in a state of panic and being spread thinly and

2. never get to rest because you’re too busy running the hamster wheel in your mind of all the things that need to be done.

woah, what a mind fuck – right?

So, how do you begin to break-up with busy?

I’m glad you asked.

5 ways to break-up with busy and get your life back:

1. Self Awareness

   Like you didn’t already know this was going to be number one on my list. For the next week or so, simply observe yourself. Take a mental note (or even better, a physical one!) of when you say that you’re busy and ask yourself: Am I truly busy or am I hiding behind another emotion? If I am hiding, for what purpose and what from?

   The more you know, the more you can dig that bit deeper and get beneath your protective ‘busy’ mask.

2. Brain Dump

   This is seriously one of the best hacks for decreasing your mental load. Take apiece of paper and pen and open the floodgates to your seemingly never ending to-do list. Let it spill out of you and on to the paper. Couple of parameters here – don’t push it through the logic lens and for the love of god, don’t prioritise it as it’s landing on the paper. Just. Write.

   Write everything that’s on your mind from have sex with my partner to pack the kids swimwear on Thursday to buy toothpaste and mop the floors. Go to pilates. Eat something green. Whatever comes to mind, goes on the paper!!

   Next: breathe. No, seriously. Take a breath. It can be overwhelming to have it all in your head and it’s another beast to actually witness it all on paper. Breathe. Next – grab your highlighters, coloured pens or your creativity because we are going to start to group this list now. Whether you draw little stars next to all of the jobs involving the kids or everything personal is highlighted in pink – find a way to make some sort of differentiation.

   Once you have them sectioned, you get to re-write them all but now is when you get to prioritise them. Again, take a breath. And recognise that you’re still just as badass as you were when it was in your head, although now you’re an organised badass. And that’s one dangerous mother fker.

3. Time Block!!

   Thank the lord for google calendar. It’s free, it’s aesthetically pleasing and it bloody works. This step works well after doing your brain dump and segregated lists because now you go over to your friend Google and you allocate time to all of those tasks. I know, sounds like another thing on your to-do list but trust me – this will change your life!!!

4. Express Yourself

   You are no more or less significant in your life if you share the burden every now and then. No one can know or understand the pressure you are perceiving, if you do not share it with them. Getting passive aggressive towards your partner, your kids or your co-workers – isn’t helping anyone. In fact, it’s just making it harder for people to help you because you’re teaching them to back the F off anytime they kindly extend a hand. Would you keep going back to help someone that continuously shuts you down? Hellll no. So drop your resentment and express to your circle that you’ve got a lot of your plate and would either a). love their help or advice or b). love the opportunity to vent if they have capacity to hold you in your pity party for 5 minutes. Game. Changer.

5. Hire A Coach

   This may sound like a shameless plug but honestly, not only will a coach hold you accountable to actioning things like the above ^^ they will also help you determine why you haven’t implemented them without one. When you have someone in your corner holding you accountable to up-levelling your life – you move differently. I wish it wasn’t the case but as humans we are social beings that juts love the validation and praise from someone external to us. Let a coach be that for you and more importantly, teach you how to be that for yourself.

So, what do you think? Is it time for you to Break-Up with Busy and start living a more present and intentional life?

…. yes, yes it is.